Visual Poem shot and edited by me. Poem by Unknown Author.
I’ve always loved this poem. I found it on Tumblr about three or four years back and tucked it away in a for a while. I saved it to a folder on my computer. I swore one day I’d make a visual compliment to it. I came across it again recently, and something about it felt even more moving than before. I tried and tried to track down the author, but couldn’t find them. There is a reason I felt stirred by the poem once again.
The first few months living in LA were some of the loneliest times I’ve ever felt, no matter how many people I was around. The fact that I had a dream to move to this city for so long and finally followed it was exhilarating, but no one did (and no one could) prepare me for how it feels to be 3,000 miles from what you know and who you truly love. Something about it felt so final.
This poem is dark. But it’s on the verge of something so good. It’s on its way, but not there quite yet. It’s bursting at the seams, but so full of emptiness at the same time. All the things I felt in those first few months. I know if you’ve been a viewer or reader of mine for a long time, you aren’t used to seeing this type of tone or this sort of video. But I didn’t want this to be another happy-go-lucky video. I wanted to show those in between times; the ones where you’re at your lowest, or maybe most contemplative. When you’re thinking so much that you sometimes wish you weren’t thinking at all. I didn’t wan’t any chronology or anything to mark a specific point in time. I wanted everything to blend together; to be bold but dull all at once. There are hard sound cuts, visual cuts, wide shots that are all stationary and some slightly hand held, but never heavy motion. Still. Silent. No talking. Everything is long, drawn out, reflective: distant.
I didn’t want it to end on a light note either – because that’s the point. Loving yourself isn’t easy every day. Some days, it is. And that’s a blessing. Other days we have to fight for it. I wanted the visual poem for this writing to reflect the want and need for loving yourself, not the pretty ease of it all. Loving yourself isn’t always about confidence or feeling good in your skin. I’m learning that loving yourself, largely, is about learning how to be alone with yourself, training yourself to think good thoughts, and how to go through things (physically and emotionally) without someone always holding your hand, even though that’s nice from time to time.
If you’re going through a hard time, feeling lonely, or are discovering/rediscovering how to love yourself – you’re not alone. You never are and never will be. I’m here for you and my whole heart is with you.
All visuals were shot on my Canon Rebel T3i. Poem recorded on my Blue Yeti mic. Music by Kevin MacLeod.
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Thank you so much for watching and taking time to read this. All my love to you. xx